In 1984 my partner Robert and I, both only 26 years old sat in a doctor's waiting room. We were told bluntly that we both had HIV and our life expectancy was just another four years. There was no certainty, no medication and very little hope. Counselling was almost non existent and information very vague. Robert had great difficulty dealing with this. I however thought 'I refuse to let a pissant virus I can't even see get the better of me.' Unfortunately Robert believed the prognosis and commenced AZT as soon as it was available. After nine years of prolonged illness, operations, horrible side effects, deep depression, agony, loss of dignity and finally, to lose his sense, he passed away in August 1993.

Robert and I were both Catholics but had lapsed. Shortly before his death he requested to see a priest and found great comfort in his faith. This seemed to help him in the end. It made me realise the value of faith in gaining the strength to survive. I believe my faith in God and myself has been crucial to my survival until this time.

Having watched all his reactions to  many different chemical cocktails, I was averse to treatment and denied all attempts to coerce me into taking them. My results would always fluctuate to a degree but I would wait till the next lot of results before making treatment decisions and the results would generally improve.

I've made myself aware of the factors that are detrimental to my health. Stress is a huge concern for me. Despite this knowledge it has not stopped me from creating my own stress. In 1990 i took my employer to Trades Hall over a work care claim and had the Work Care Practices Act amended over a discriminatory statement by my employer regarding my sexuality, relationships and HIV status. Following my partner's death in 1993 I unsuccessfully took the Commonwealth Superannuation Scheme to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal over Robert's superannuation. This resulted in me founding a political lobby group, Homodefactos aiming for recognition of same sex relationships; organising public forums in Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra and Hobart. I was later a steering committee member of the Victorian Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby. At the same time i became a public speaker for the PLWHA speaker's bureau and a founding member of Sexual Health Speakers. I was honoured to be the first HIV positive man to be accepted into the Sunraysia school system to address teachers and students about HIV. Although this was all extremely stressful, it allowed me in some way to justify Robert's death and give me a purpose to keep living. I have now retired from all these activities due to the stress involved and am focussed on a new relationship. I believe one of the main strengths through this time was my re discovered faith.

In October 2003 I was again advised to commence triple combination therapy due to low T Cells. I was given a script for Trizivir and the script was filled. I opened the box, looked at the pills and they remain untaken in my bedside drawer. Recently I have recovered from a severe stomach bacterial imbalance which had an immense impact on my general health. Despite twelve months of conventional treatment and medication, the imbalance persisted. Finally I consulted a reputable complimentary therapist at the Positive Living Centre. After eight weeks he achieved what the doctors could not. He has also managed to have an incredible effect on foot warts from which I have suffered for many years, had burnt and frozen without success. I am now able to reduce the amount of sedatives I've found necessary to consume to alleviate stress and depression, and a number of other prophylactic medications. This experience has completely altered my view of my treament regime and my whole sense of being has greatly improved through natural therapies.

This is my personal history and I do not encourage any person to refuse, cease or alter and medication or treatment without consultation with their specialist or doctor.